Photo by Keegan Houser on Unsplash

I Don’t Know How To Talk To You

I just don’t. Maybe I can’t.

I don’t know how to talk to you. We do talk, but rarely about things that matter. We talk about everything but ourselves, actually.

I don’t know how to talk to you. I’ve tried to. I worry about how it will go. Will you react like you did last time, or will everything be fine? I can never tell.

I don’t know how to talk to you. You still try to get me to open up, and I appreciate that. I can tell how disappointed you get when I don’t communicate, but you don’t give up.

I don’t know how to talk to you. It’s not that I don’t trust you. I do, I think. I know I love you, and I know you love me.

I don’t know how to talk to you. I’m putting this on the internet instead.

I don’t know how to talk to you. You ask me why. I give you watery eyes and a shrug in response. I know you’re frustrated with me. I am too.

I don’t know how to talk to you. Is it all my fault? You’re making an effort, and I’m making an effort to make an effort.

I don’t know how to talk to you. I blame you, sometimes. I do know how to tell other people about you. Some agree with me. Some tell me to try harder.

I don’t know how to talk to you. I wouldn’t want you to love me less after I open up.

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